cant believe how much everything has changed in the last month, doesnt look like itll go back to how it was either.

its not fair.

so i've been out of college for nearly a month now and i figured that i would have got a full time job, nothing great just something. but no. noone will hire me and i dont blame them, not qualified or experienced enough for any of these jobs and im just useless. feel disgusting all the time and i just constantly want to cry. i dont do anything anymore, just stay inside and watch films, or jus do nothing, just want to sleep. thought id be able to get a job and start saving so i can move out sooner and be with catherine more. and i dont get to see her as much anymore and i dont like not being with her, makes me really sad but i hate leaving the house now and dont want to go to hers. hate everything right now. hate constantly having headaches. hate having no money. hate the way i look. hate being here.