christmas eve...

realised how much of a shit friend ive become

wooop

going home tomorrow :D
ill miss the heat but i get to see catherine :D
this weeks been to hard not being with her =[
i feel bad for people who are at different uni's to the gf/bf =[
i wouldnt be able to be away form catherine that i long i dont think.
but get to talk to her tomorrow and then see her the next day eeeeeeeeeeee ^_^
ive missed her loads =[
dont think ill be going without her again!!!!

Holiday, day one!

fucking four and a half hours on the plane with some ginger kid kicking the back of my seat. apparently she didnt apprechiate me telling her not too!!!

other than that the flight was okay, and as i cut my fingernails, no blood!!!!

the penthouse is actually amazing though!!!!

and i love having an ensuite bathroom!!

the view from the balcony is actually amazing aswell.

the sea looks really nice and you can see the mountain and everything.

though i think we did bring the english weather with us as it rained and thundered a bit. but at least its warm!!!

miss catherine so much though =[ i really hate not being able to see and talk to her anytime i want to =[ i really hope she is alright though. love her soo much.

and i found like a really nice necklace for her, but it smelt funny so imma look again at the market me thinks.

i like it when its like this, everyone else has gone to bed so im out on the balcony just listening to the see in the warmth, wish catherine was here though =[.

hopefully tomorrow willl be really sunny so i can just lay by the pool and read my book and start to get a tan so im niiice and brown!!!

aanyway may try and sleep and get rid of my headache ik think... indeed

fuck =/.

everything's starting to go bad again.

college is shit

dont talk to half my friends anymore

families alll gjsaohgo

and i've stopped sleeping again, unless catherines with me >.<.

and i dont see the point anymore.

im gunna end up making catherine feel like she doesn't make me happy when she really does.

i cant loose her.

i hate being so stupid.

fucksake.

D=

i cant find my pillowcase and i think im gunna cry >.<.

hiiiiiiiya

catherine is amazing and i love her loads

goooooood evening

i got to see catherine yesterday =]
i missed her like crazy!!!!

so much so that i actually think i may have gone a tad insane...

i only didnt see her for like two days and yeh, when i go on holiday its gunna be even worse as i wont even be able to text her or anything >.<

i really dont want to go now =[

shitshitshit >.<.

i screw everything up and make everyone feel bad >.< fuck sake

longest weekend ever =[

catherine went away and i missed her terribly =[

but i get to see her tomorrow :D

AAAAND i have ideas for her birthday present ahaha :)

never lets me post anymore and its really annoying =/

Haaappy happyhappy =]

hopefully this will be happy enough for my dearest =]

me and catherine have been together for like six weeks now =]

ive got this song that i really like atm, by bruno mars. its really nice and makes me think of catherine =]

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are.

thats my fave bit of it.

theres loads of songs that make me think of her and how happy she makes me feel

teenage dream is on, thats our song :D

i want to keep writing but im falling asleep D=

=]

..

i dont want to stay here anymore =[

hrsj

peeeeeeter pan

never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting

lovelovelove

No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I, we'll be young forever

havent written on here in ages buuuuuuut lots have changed since then.

i've got a girlfriend ^_^

Caaaaaatherine =]

she's lovely and she makes me so so so happy =]

and life seems so much better :)

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

30 days of truth. Daay 10

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

there isnt anyone, i think everyone is in your life for a reason and whether that has a positive or negative effect on you, its supposed to be that way, dont let anyone go!!!!! ever!!

30 daaaaaaaaays of truth. Day niine

30 Days of Truths - Day 9

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Jaaade, we were really close, but when i moved away we drifted, to be expected i guess. though we still talk occasionally which is good.

i assume this is what was meant by drifted ¬_¬

30 days of truth. daaay 8

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

uuurm there isnt really anyone who has made my life hell or anything.

i guess old bullies and stuff might have at the time? me nono

OBSESSED

i have found my new obsession =]

30 days of truth. Daay 7

30 Days of Truths - Day 7

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for

Catherine, Megan and Deavan. They mean so much to mean, and they help me loads and if it wasnt for them, no one would see me!!

and my family also as they are generally lovely.

Oh dear me

well, doing the 30 days of truth didnt really wrok tbh, as i havent used my pc for a few days =/ ill try and do it everyday starting again from nooow!

30 Days of Truth. Daay Six

Day 6 --> Something you hope you never have to do...

i hope i never have to bury a child, los anyone i love, dissapoint those close to me.
urm fail at like and get stuck in some dead end job that i hate.

i hope i never look back and say 'i wish i'd done that...'

i dont knoww sorry.

30 Days of truth. Day Fiiiiive

Day 05 -> some thing you hope to do in your life

urrm im not sure i guess i just wanna make a difference to someone and to really mean something to someone.
or to have a nice family, home and job. and to actually like my life.

other than that to get over all of my fears and not let anything stop me doing what i wanna do. yeeeeeeesh

twitching!!!

god dammit!

my eye has been twitching constantly for the last week and its really annoying me =[

also went to get my smiley pierced the other day, but it was to small =[ i was well annoyed lol. so i just got another normal ear one instead.

so i now have 13 piercings in all. and i want mooooooore

also i want another tattooo. and i want to soon!!!

i want a sparrow on my foot with like vines and leaves and stuff around it =].

catherines going away =[ imma miss her!

30 days of truth. Daay 4!

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

i cant really think of anything =/

hmmm i guess my friend telling my parents on me and making everything worse.
dlgkjc

30 days of truth. day 3...kinda

okii i forgot to do this yesterday as i feel asleep with another headache >.< aaanyway..

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

uuurm im not sure=/

i guess it could be blaming myself for my friend who started doing something bad when she found out i did it. thats always made me feel bad. but i didnt make her do it, she did it on her own i guess =/ i dunno sorry.

30 days of truth. daaay 2!

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself

uurm, i dont actually know anything.
i guess i love that i can be childish, and thats usually good for making people laugh?
and i love my wrists :S
odd
sorry

30 days of truth. STOLEN =]

Stole this off of Megans blog =] lovesyoumegan
plus then i may blog mooore

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself.
i hate most things about myself =]
mainly;
- the way i look
- not being able to help the people i care about
- being unable to cope with anything
- i also hate how annoying i am. im surprised my friends can stand me =/
yeh ill stop.
one down, twenty nine to goo

Zumba

Mum took me to this zumba class tonight.

buuuut it turned out to be quite good.

as its more dancing than exercising, and there was music, it seemed more fun than normal workouts.

plus it actually feels like your doing something.

i think im gunna go again :)

Messy

my room is still a fucking mess >.<

i dont understand how it gets so messy.

started saving money for my new bed :D so ill hopefully get that soon. woop

urm i dunno what to write now =/

im too bored. ohwelll

Prom, Weddings and Birthdays

havent blogged in a while.

since then ive been to my year 13 prom and my managers wedding reception.

Prom was pretty darn good =] and im glad i went, especially as i was rather nervous about looking stupid and stuff. though it turned out to be a good night, and i drunk rather alot i think :P

The wedding reception was even better i think :P. our boss even turned up for a bit and brought us drinks! Kelly, the manager, looked absolutely amazing in hher dress that she designed herself.

me, megan, dev and my sister then left to go to the pub, but it was closed, so we ended up in the bandbox. which was good considering robyn is only 16 and we snuck her in :P . we drunk alot then aswell.

Dev's birthday this week :D should be goood, especially with deavan around lol.

sorry, but my typing is terrible today, but i cba to fix it lol.

anyway off i go for a shower. i have my college induction tomorrow, should be interesting!!

.

ive recently realised how useless i am.

i cant even help my friend.

she's so down recently and i just want to make everything okay for her and i cant.

so fucking useless.

im getting to the point where i dont want to care anymore.

it hurts to much.

but i cant loose her tcodsgihlkn

fuck.

Oh no, looks like we're in a pickle

my typing is rather bad tonight, possibly due to lack of sleep im guessing :P

So today was the last day of sixth form/school.

after about 7 years of seeing the same people most days, everyones breaking up and going away to university or college and we wont see each other very much anymore. its really sad :(

it was a good day though =] we had an assembly and looked through pictures and some reports to show how much everyone had changed. we then did some awards for things like 'fittest girl'-(this ended up going to the head of our year :P), 'best bum' and 'drama queen'. me and Megan P were voted second for best friends :P (we'll have been friends 10 years on the 16th of june this year). i also got voted second out of the year for biggest numpty :P apparently the some of the year think i may be a bit blonde.

after the assembly, and the group photo, we all had a bbq. luckily the weather stayed nice and it was a nice afternoon =] it was good to just talk and catch up woth everyone and for everyone to relax and not have to thing about exams for a while.

Then, cool as we are, we decided to go down to the pub for a few drinks. which was also nice :P especially since there were people which came out who dont usually come for drinks, including the head of the year.

im sad that everythings gunna be diffrent now and that its gunna be alot harder to see people because of assignments and what not.

i havent blogged in ages, mainly because my internet has been so shit recently and i just havent been in the mood to recently. i guess ive just been rather annoyed and down lately, probably due to exams coming soon and because of prom coming soon and just wishing i could look good for it. =/

beeen going to the gym alot more lately aswell, mainly coz Megan, Dylan and Deavan go quite often now aswell.

so hopefully ill have lost a lot of weight and be a lot fitter for college in september =] thats my main thought atm anyway.

im annoyed though, because as its a bank holiday the gym shuts at like 7 so i wont be able to go as im gunna be at work all fucking weekend

im going to try and go tomorrow morning before work, but i dunno if ill be up in time. i hope so, coz it makes me happy =].

i guess with the gym, i just have to stop eating so much food now, or i have to make the food that i do eaat more healthy. thats probably a better idea...

me and megan have arranged our book shopping day for the 7th, im excited :P lots and lots more books ahahaha. i guess we are kinda bookworms, but proud:P. also theres a huge book sale, so i think we'll check that out tooo :D:D

Im still reading IT by Stephen King, its taken me a while, not just coz its long but because ive been doing exam revision.

i really like it so far.

Also, i think ive been annoying catherine alot recently. we seem to go from talking all the time, to hardly talking and then back and forth between the two, and i dont understand why. i guess ive annoyed her somehow but i dont know how i did

not long left now until me, megan, deavan and ness going away for a couple of days. we are to lowerstoft and to pleasurewood hills. should be good :D

anyway i need to sleep as i have work in the morning

c

hgvo[hd

CAAAAAAAAATHERINE

ILOVECATHERINE

she is pretty darn amazing and sexy ;)

and she is looking through my phone!!!

and shes completely crazy

buts i love her anyway :D

lotandlotsandlots!!

Happiness

Surely if something makes you happy, and doesn't hurt anyone else, it's a good thing.

Even if its not a normal form of happiness, right?

But if that's true, then how can other people judge you for what you do, and try and take it away from you?

vpigatkuaewtci

Why helloo

It's been awhile due to loss of internet, work and cswk. OHWELL!

I took a well nice photo for daily-booth earlier but I couldn't get it off of the camera D= i almost cried.

Watched the human centipede yesterday, it was a bit sick tbh :P

but i quite liked it!

today was the last health and social lesson, sorta, and its really weird that in just a matter of days ill be leaving orwell/deben for good...not sure if im happy or sad lol.

:D

finished my cswk today, it wasnt very good but im just glad its done now lol.

means i have a lot of time to just read :D

Annoyed

i am rather annoyed atm.

I actually went to my lesson today, thinking that sir might be able to help me with my cswk, but of course the one time i actually want him there, he skips our lesson to teach a different class, leaving us on our own. what a useless man!!

then i made the mistake of going to orwell and running into my other teacher. what a mushroom head!

however ive just painted my nails greeen :D
imma try and add a photo, lets see if it works =].

aaaaactually icba :P
but im gunna make a daily booth as megaaan suggested =]

:(

if they're not even going to fucking try and understand what im thinking and feeling
they can just leave me the fuck alone!!!

Its been a litle while since i wrote in here again, i keep forgetting. oh well.

so since last time i wrote i got my first tattoo =]
its the latin phrase 'Alis Volat Propriis' on my wrist. it means 'she flies with her own wings'
and i really like it. =]

i also got my ears pierced again, i got my thirds and my second top done.
but now i want moooore!!!!

i just dunno what.

AHAHAAH i get my psp tomorrow =] cant wait.
which means mr james' cswk isnt gunna get donw =/

oh well im not that bothered anymore

fuuuuuuck

looks like im gunna have to find a new job

fucksake

ihateyou

stupid thing didnt let me finish vlfahnov

hiiiya

I haven't written on here in like ages, or so it seems. its been like a week I think...ohwell!
I booked my tattoo :D getting that done on Tuesday, and I'm well looking forward to it =]. Although I am rather nervous in case I like move or the lines go all wobbly and it looks shit =/

So, so far the Easter holidays have been pretty shit for me. I've been working for most of it, which is why I'm not very happy, and I haven't seen anyone really outside of work. Apart from Megan, who I've seen a few times and Catherine but I've only seen her at work >.< piercings ="">

I've just realised that in five months I start college, I was really excited about that but I've just realised that means I'm going to see no-one, like ever. As everyone will be to busy with college/Uni work and I wont want to bug them. So I think I may end up on my own...

I don't think I'm going to be very good on my own, it doesn't make sense >.<>

Also this summer is going to suck. I am going to be stuck at work while everyone is having fun in the sun. DAMN DAVID!

blahblahblah.

A couple of posts ago I said that I was stopping smoking, well that failed. I went nearly three weeks without one and then I did, so I failed at that. fucksake.

i cbf anymore

Could it be this misery will suffice?

I dont understand what happened to my mood today =/ i was fine through lesson then when i got home everything just turned stupid! i guess just being on my own screws me up a bit.

oh well i guess tomorrow will be better=]

i am absolutely loving Elliot minors cover of Fireflies right now :D

i am in a much happier mood now though =]
so heres a list of things i love right now:

• i love Catherine and Meggie
• Booooks
• Music
• random times with friends when you laugh at time things.
• getting my tattoo soon
• being happy regardless of everything thats going on
• Florence and the machine
• CIty and colour
• people who are there for you all the time
• family
• the idea of prom.

im hopeing that this list is longer than the hate one as im generally a nice happy person =].

its been ten days since i last smoked!!!!

anyway im done now =]

byeeee

Close your eyes and make believe, this is where you wanna be

Im getting a new bookcase :) then i can take my books out of my wardrobe =].

im in a pretty shit mood, so heres a list of things i hate right now =]

• Constantly having headaches
• People ignoring me
• Not understanding stuff i need to do
• People changing their mind about things
• Not being able to afford the things i want
• Not being skinny
• Being unable to do my coursework
• Not finding a song i want to listen to
• I hate not being able to talk about important things with friends
• People judging me for no reason.
• Having to try and do coursework instead of being able to read.

blahblahblah >.< cba ="">

And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be

FINISHED MY COURSEWORK!!!
took me bloody long enough lol. but now that is out the way and i can try and get the other lot done..hopefully on time.

ive been listening to City and Colour a lot recently, ive had it on repeat pretty much all day. I think they are pretty awesome =]

Its almost the easter holidays =]

i cant wait to not have to bother with school, it seriously annoys me. but only got a few months then its all over =/ not sure if thats good or bad yet.

Yehh anyway easter, should be good, im working a few days so that means i can get enough money to get my tattoo and my some of my piercings :D s'all good.

i also started a new book as i finished thinner by stephen king. im now reading Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris, hopefully itll be as good as silence of the lambs and hannibal.

uuurm im not really in the mood to write now =/ damn mood swings!

ill leave ye with some lyrics...

Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead
But now it's like the night is taking sides
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be this misery will suffice?

byee

I Smoke a Cigarette, and Pretend I am Normal.

Sooo work, oh how I hate that place. I spent 10 hours there this weekend, in the hot, greasy, stinking chip shop on the sea side. it wouldn't have been so bad if i was in the sun or there was a breeze!

anyway yes! I should really be doing my psych essay for tomorrow morning while I wait for my clothes but i really cba!

So I started reading The notebook by Nicholas Sparks, and so far its a bit disappointing, I really liked the film and thought that the book might be just as good but so far it isn't.

I'm also reading The Sandman by Neil Gaiman. these are graphic novels about the forms of Dream, Desire, Destiny, Delirium, Death and Despair and I must say, they are rather good so far =].

hmmm anyway I guess i should try and do some Psych work before i go to bed...naaah!

Niight

Hmmm...

Okaaay... so i'm not that great at writing, in fact i'm really bad.

so that means i probably wont write in here that much, and it'll be mainly boring stuff anyway i guess.

Ooh well, not like im telling anyone this is here lol.

so today i got my cswk draft back for health and social care, and surprise surprise, teacher was not impressed. i suppose i should of tried harder at doing it but at the time i couldnt be bothered to do anything, least of all school work.

brought a couple of books in town earlier though, with my dear friend Megan. we are a pair of book fiends ¬_¬ but thats why we love her =].

ooooh and i brought 'From Hell' the lastest in my Johnny Depp collection =] gotta love the films his in, especially when he works with Tim Burton.

hmmm anyway thats enough waffle. :P

...i use to many emoticons i think OHWELL!

byeee