i just want this all the go away and foreverything to be alright again >.<.

dont blog anymore =[

fuuuck €€

i dont see college going any better this year than it did last year.

feel empty without you here.

i dont know what to do :(

hurry up and come home =(

29. a picture of yourself...

28. the month you were happiest this year.

uuurm...im not sure...August was a pretty awesome month

but catherine does make everyday happy for me :)

quit college, get any full time job. move out.
i dont care how shit the job is i cant stand being here>.<
how is it my fault that the house is a mess?
im never fucking here.
its not my fault if youre daughter doesnt do what you tell her too.
so dont fucking shout at me >.<

ive ruined everything.
she wont see me anymore
theres no point without her.
im so stupid

27. talk about your siblings.

i have an older brother called Daniel. he's 21 and works in london. he lived in manchester but his job finished there so hes come back here until he finds a flat in london by his work. he is a surveyors assistant. we get on bettter now than we used to, but maybe thats because we dont see each other much.
then i have a younger sister called Robyn. shes 18 and rather immature. we share a bedroom and see each other most of the time which is probably why we dont get on very well. we also work together at the chip shop in the summer. cant wait for one of us to move out. think we'd get on better then.

yeeeesterdays one =]


26. your religious beliefs.


i dont have any i dont think... unless harry potterism is a religion?!

25. ten ways to win your heart.

1. make me laugh
2. give me cuddles
3. always be there for me
4. make me feel safe
5. buy me books
6. youd have to be catherine =] she has my heart!!! :D
7. lollipopss!!!
8. accept my pillowcase!!!!
9. love gizzmo!!!!!!
10. stay with me forever?

24. things you want to say to five different people.

1. you mean everything to me and were gunna get married :)
2. miss working with you and seeing you more
3. you annoy the hell out of me. aand you are useless.
4. miss seeing you and having random times.
5. whyd you do it?

There's a party in my pants and you're invited ;)

... But you're not wearing any pants...

Oh my bad, typo, I meant to say anus... ;)

23. something you always think 'what if' about.

what if catherine hadnt liked me back

what if i hadnt worked for david

what if she meets someone else and leaves me for them

what if i stay this big

22. 10 things about you people dont expect.

1. i think im smarter than most people think
2. i dont think they expect me to have an amazing girlfriend like i do.
3. this is haaard!!
4. they dont expect me to be sad
5. they might not expect how down or depressed i get.
6. or that i want to shut myself away from people.
7. catherine has a really nice bum!
8. and i just want a nice big cuddly hug from her!
9. i cant think of anymore =[
10. maybe they dont expect me to fart!!!
    
    

21. something you cant seem to get over

stuff that happened years agian and anytime i make a fool out of myself!!

so yesterday was meant to be the first day back at college, buuut my lesson was bloody cancelled.

they could have at least text or rang to tell me, so i didnt go up to ipswich for nothing, buut no!

but i still had a nice afternnon, went and read in the park and waited for my girl =]

it was sunny but rather windy!!

im now have 135 books left to read on my list!!

hopefully it wont take too long, but were not allowed to buy anymore books until like January 2013 i think it was!!

well no books for our selves anyway =]

i wanna get the pictures form mine and catherine daily photos p[rinted and put on my wall, like a collage....i dunno how its spelt!

anyway i have half hour to get ready and catch the bus! best get dressed!!

20. the last arguement you had.

uuurmm... i dont think ive argued with anyone in a while... me and catherine dont argue =]

and i dont with any of my friends so it was either with mum dad or robyn id guess.

this is yesterdays blog coz i forgot to do it ¬_¬

19. something that never fails to make you feel better.

my beautiful girlfriend catherine. i know most of my blogs relate to her but thats just because she means everything to me and always makes me happy. just by being there and mkaing me smile and laugh, or just holding me close, or even just texting or talking to me on the phone, she always makes me feel better =]

Also megan makes me feel better to, shes my best friend andalways makes me better too

alssssooo!! my pillowcase!

first day back at college tomorrow!

im rather excited, even if it is only so im not in the house as much.

hope the people are the same or better, and noone has changed for the worse, that would be sad =[

really looking forward to my lessons as well and hopefully ill do better this year =]

i wonder what books we'll be reading in english... mmmmmm :)

18. disrespecting parents.

seems pointless, your parents deserve your respect unless they have done something horrible.

I eat poo

17. things that make you scared.

people in the house i dont know when i try sleep. catherine leaving me. loosing megan. failing at everything. not know what sorta job i want or will have. voices. sleep. spiders. gizmo dying and my pillowcase disappearing :(

16. 3 things you are proud of about personality.

i guess i make people laugh quite easily, and i care and im there for people as much as i can be aaand yeeeah

really need a wee!!!!

but i have just painted my nails D=

A - age: 19

B - bedsize: double

C - chores you hate: doing the dishwasher!

D - Day: friday

E - envious of: skinny people

F - favorite colour: blue or red

G - gold or silver: it depends what for :P

H - Height: 5'5 or 6

I - instrument: piano/ keyboard

J - job title: student...or chip fryer!!

K - kids: not yet...

L - live: felixstowe, suffolk

M - mums name: Coral

N - nicknames: terance!

O - overnight stay at the hospital: never been ill really =]

P - pet peeves - someone not answering when you talk to them.

Q - quote from a movie: anything from harry potter!!

R - right or left handed: right handed

S - siblings: an older brother and a younger sister

T - time you wake up: like 7 or half 7

U - undescribable feeling: how happy it makes me when im with catherine and she says iloveyou

V - vegetable you hate: cauliflower

W - what makes you run late: texting, falling asleep, reading or forgetting something

X - X-rays youve had: my neck and mouth

Y - Yummy food you make: me and catherine are good at making nice carbonara and chicken kievs!!!

Z - zoo: lets go to the zooo!!!!

15. the best thing to happen to you this week.

well catherine passed her driving test :D and she took me out for a drive!

im glad she passed coz if she failed she would have gotten really really bad. but she passed =]

and shes a really good driver =]

i have had an amzing couple of weeks.

it was mine and catherines one year a week ago yesterday and catherine booked the whole week off to spend with me =]

we cooked carbonara and chicken kievs

we went shopping in ipswich

we went shopping in norwich - id never been before!! and catherine brought me lunch and took me to build-a-bear and got me pawesome panda, and took me to the bbc shop aaand we had millies cookies!!

weve taken loads of pictures for the scrapbook!

weve watched lots of drwho!

we went out with friends for meggies birthday!

we went book shoppping

we spent nearly everynight together and all days

and we went to have a loook at art on the prom.

then on monday catherine passed her driving test!!!!

well proud of her =]

and shes taken me for a drive today and i was very impressed!!

especially as some new drivers are quite jerky or scary and she wasnt at all.

seemed normal to be driving with her like weve done it for years =] it was lovely

and as im ill shes tucked me up in bed yesterday and todayy and given me lots of hugs and kisses to help in the healing process!!!

14. something disgusting you do.

i never do anything thing disusting!!

...except maybe i have flatulent tendencies!!

and i pick my face alot!

13. a date that you would love to go on.

uuurm doesnt really bother me where we go tbh as long as were together.

buut i would like to have a picnic on the rocks and watch the stars againi <3

12. things you want to say to an ex.

there isnt really anything id say. i still talk to my exs occasionally and its not weird. doesnt feel like there is anything between us either so yeah =]

i missed fridays 30 day challenge!!!

11. your relationship status, if single discuss.

im taken and i love it :) best girlfriend ever ^_^ <3

10. your views on drugs and alcohol

i dont see alcohol as a problem, people like it and enjoy it buut i think its stupid when people drink way too much and it changes how they act and they do stupid things.

drugs are just stupid.:)

9. your last kiss

my last kiss was from my girly firend!

my 8 button doesnt work properlly!!!!

GODDAMMIT!!!

i missed yesterdays one!!! so there is two today!!

7. your opinion on cheating on people.

i wouldnt do it, it hurts to many people and you dont deserve to be with someone if youre going to cheat on them, especially if you then lie about it. id like to say i wouldnt take someone back if they cheatged but i pobably would, depending on who it was.

8. something youre currently worrying about.

im worried that catherine has no food on her and i missed the bus. that college will make me pay and i cant afford to go to college anymore then ill become a bum and not do anything with my life then catheirne will leave me coz she wont want to be with a failure. i want to go back to college. im worried that i keep eating and putting more weight on and that im starting to really hate myself again. and im worried about catherine, how things affect her and make her bad =[

i had an amazing day with my girlfriend, it was our one year today.

we stayed in bed thne had cheesecake for breakfast,

then we read for a bit and went into town.

we also went book shopping which was nice =]

we then went to hers and watched some dr who!!!!

and we cooked tea for her family which was nice =]

and we just curled up and it made me so happy :)

6. the person you like and why you like them.

Catherine =]

shes so amazing, shes funny, smart adn beautiful. she always makes me feel better and is always there for me, we have loads in common and never run out of things to talk about, and we never argue. she makes me really happy, every time i think about her, i smile and i know she'll staay with me forever =] shes just amazinf and all mine forever <3<3<3

its mine and catherines one year today ^_^

cant believe shes stayed with me for a whoole year ^_^

and shes amazing,

and brought me Eragon :D

which is lovely as my copy is falling to pieces =[

shes planned the whole week though =]

and its going to be amazing =]

im really happy =]

5. 5 things that irritate you about the same/opposite sex

opposite sex;

1. they have beards and they look stupid and creepy.

2. they act like twats when they are with their friends.

3. they are loud and obnoxious.

4. seem to be obsessed with sex.

5. they are stupid.

girls;

1. they look stupid with loads of make up on

2. hate when they are orange.

3. when people who were close friends become enemies coz of talking behind peoples backs.

4. some think they are so amazing and that everyone should love them when they dont.

5. they just generally annoy me how they are two faced and change their mind so easily

im so sick of work! >.<

but finished today and now have a week off ^_^

and i get to spend the week with catherine as shes booked it off too =]

though i havent been told what we are doing ¬_¬

shes keeping them secrets!!

AND theres a present wrapped up in her room!!!

i wanna know what it is!

shes very mean but lovely ;)

also seeing megan on wednesday to watch films and go shopping and stuff =]

shoud be goood :)

4. what do you wear to bed?

well during the summer its usually a strap top and underwear or shorts...

unless catherine is staying ;)

in the winter its trousers and usually one of catherines hooodies :)

work was so boring today!

though my girlfiend did come and pay me a visit ^_^

so that brightened things up =]

she also brought me subway and a cookie :D

shes amaaazing =]

missed dr who tonight >.<

rather annoyed but i tryed :(

cleaned catherine's fish tank for her :)

....well kinda!!

3. What kind of person attracts you?

well she has's smart and funny, beautiful, an amazing smile, likes the same things as me,

she makes me feel good and makes me really happy and always there for me and loves me back.

so catherine is the only one for meeee :D :D:D:D

2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?

well i think ive put quite a bit of weight on

buut i think ive become alot happier this last year :)

ive also bcome calmer and less spastic :P

i think ive also changed in that im more open especially with megan and catherine

didnt really do anything i was supposed to on my day off >.<

should have just worked and then at least id have done something.

buuut having he day off meant that i was able to meet catherine off of the bus for the first time in ages ^_^

aand we finished watching torch wood and started Dr who!!

110. My last name: Harrison.
109. I was born in: Cambridge.
108. I am really: quite hungry!.
107. My phone is: lovely :).
106. My eye color is: green/Blue.
105. My ring size is: big!
104. My height is: 5'6 maaaybe.
103. I am allergic to: bananas ive decided!!!.
102. I was born on: 21st Oct.
101. I am annoyed by: not making sense.
100: What happened to question 189? whaaa...
99. My bed is: nice and cozy and warm
98: One thing you don’t like about yourself: most things.
97. Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back? siide.
96. How do you vent anger? talking to catherine or being grumpy
95. How did your day start off? with lots of texts from my girly ^_^
94. Do you get along with guys or girls better? neither really
93. How do you think you look right this moment? horrible as always
92. Last person you went to the movies with? Catherine and her family
91. My favorite Holiday is: christmas or valentines...if that counts.
90. The last CD I bought was: no idea! maybe take that :P
89. Do you have any siblings? 1 brother and 1 sister.
88. What did you do yesterday? i was working then saw catherine and went for a run =]
87. When in doubt?: google it!

:::I Do /Do Not Believe In:
86. Love at first sight? yeah
85. Luck? kinda
84. Fate? a bit
83. Aliens?: naah
82. Heaven?: i want to.
81. Hell?: kinda
80. Ghosts? yeah.
79. Horoscopes?: naah
78. Soulmates?: Yeah ^_^.
77. Karma? yes.

:::Which is Better?:::
AND YES YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE
76. Drunk or High? Drunk.
75. On the phone or online: Phone.
74. Red heads or blondes? Blonde, like catherine =].
73. Blondes or Brunettes? same!.
72. Hot or cold?: cold, then you can snuggle up more
71. Summer or Winter: Summer.
70. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.
69. Night or Day?: night.
68. Oranges or Apples?: apples
67. Curly or Straight hair:? Straight.


::Here’s What I Think About:::
66. Abortion: generally against it but depends on th situation
65. Backstabbers: not worth the effort
64. Parents: mine are very nice =]

:::Last time I:::
63. hugged someone: last night <3
62. Saw someone: dad literally just walked past me
61: Cried in front of someone? yeah, seem to cry alot recently.

:::Random:::
60. Who is the ditziest person you know: dunno
59. Who makes you laugh? catherine and megaan and others.
58. Last show you watched? jjeremy kyle
57. What you don’t understand is? how to make everything better all the time.
56. The most unsatisfying answer: K or okay.
55. Something I really miss when I leave home is? my pillowcase.
54. The thing I’m looking forward to the most is? catherine and mine one year on tuesday :D
53. Tomorrow: friday and robyns birthday!
52. Today: my day off =]
51. Next Summer: will hopefully be sunny!.
50. This Weekend: i hope its not busy >.<
49. The person(s) who knows the most about me is: catherine.
48. The most difficult thing to do is? Not being able to be there all the time.
47. I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket: good
46. The first person I talked to today was: catherine- through text or mother
45. First time you had a crush: im not sure
44. The one person who I can’t hide things from: catherine
43. Last time someone said something you were thinking: catherine seems to do it alot
42. Right now I am talking to? no-one, listening to mum and dad talk about robyn :P
41. What is your dream job? professional book reader
40. First job? Paper round.
39. I have had these pets: fishes, 6 cats with one left and 5 hamsters.
38. I can still see: with my glasses?
37. The worst sound in the world is? babys crying/screaming
36. The person who makes me cry the most: myself
35. Best sound in the world?: i really love catherines voice, makes me so happy
34. Who makes you happy? catheirne, megan, family gizmooo
33. Cats or dogs?: im not sure...
32. Myspace or Facebook: Facebook.
31. Mexican food or Chinese? Chinese
30. My favorite piece of clothing? harry potter top!
29. My favorite color(s) are: blue, yellow, purple
28. Last time I cried: last night
27. My friends: Are amazing
26. My computer is? is dead buut my lappytop is sexy :D.
25. Last person I got mad at: david i think
24. Person you secretly crush on?: its not really a secret :P
23. Favorite place to eat?: i dunnoo
22. Favorite song: atm its into the ocean - blue october
21. The all-time best show is: Tv show? HOUSE
20. The all-time best feeling in the world is: being in love
19. Favorite scent: the way catherine smells and her hoodies smell or burgers!
18. What color is your hairbrush: Black and silver.
17. Favorite shoes: converse.
16. I lose all respect for people who: expect everyone else to do everything for them
15. favorite channel to watch: e4
14. favorite food: med veg and chicken and cous cous!
13. favorite day of the week: sundays atm
12. Best Feature(s) in the opposite sex: Eyes. or smile, or smell!
11. The worst pain I was ever in was: idk
10. Best Memory: just catherne and this laast year in generally
9. Favorite TV show? House and scrubs.
8. My favorite singer/band: c&c, owl city and glee ¬_¬
7. Favorite Stuffed Animal? beary or winston!
6. Greatest Fear: that she'll leave me
5. My weakness is: not believing in myself
4. When was your last concert? like last year when i saw pink!
3. Who broke your heart? noone
2. One thing that makes you feel great is: hugs and kisses
1. One person that you wish you could see right now? catherine... but only a few hours =]

...may have spent a bit too much money!!!!!

never going to get a job

30 day challenge - day 1

1. Weird things you do when you’re alone

uuurm... i dont really do any weird things!

i just talk to myself and to the cat

or i randomly scream to see if anyone hears

oooh and i run instead of walk around the house!

30 day challenge!

30 Day Blog Challenge!
gunna do this and blog everyday =]

1. Weird things you do when you’re alonge.
2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?
3. What kind of person attracts you.
4. What you wear to bed.
5. 5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex.
6. The person you like and why you like them.
7. Your opinion on cheating on people.
8. Something you’re currently worrying about.
9. Your last kiss.
10. Your views on drugs and alcohol.
11. Your currently relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
12. Things you want to say to an ex.
13. A date you would love to go on.
14. Something disgusting you do.
15. The best things to happen to you this week.
16. 3 things you are proud of about your personality.
17. Things that make you scared.
18. Disrespecting parents.
19. Something that never fails to make you feel better.
20. The last argument you had.
21. Something you can’t seem to get over.
22. 10 things about you people don’t really expect.
23. Something you always think “what if…” about
24. Things you want to say to 5 different people.
25. 10 ways to win your heart.
26. Your religious beliefs.
27. Talk about your siblings.
28. The month you were happiest this year why.
29. A picture of yourself.
30. What changed this month and what you hope will happen next month

LASTS:1. Last beverage→ Water
2. Last phone call–> Myy girlyfriend =]
3. Last text message→ Also my girlfriend
4. Last song you listened to–> Into the ocean - blue october
5. Last time you cried→ a few hours ago =[
HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Dated someone twice → indeedy
2. Been cheated on? → I dont think so
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? → yeah
4. Lost someone special?→ friends maybe?.
5. Been depressed?→ Yeah
6. Been drunk and threw up? → Maaaaybe :P
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1. Blue
2. Purple
3. Red
4. Yellow
HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends → Since college...?
2. Fallen out of love → Nope
3. Laughed until you cried → yeeeah
4. Met someone who changed you → yeeeah mmmmm ^_^
5. Found out who your true friends were → yeah
6. Found out someone was talking about you → yeah
7. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list? → i dont think so! catherines not on it!
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life →: all of them
9. How many kids do you want to have→ 2 or 3
10. Do you have any pets → a kittycat :D
11. Do you want to change your name→ Last name will be changed <3
12. What did you do for your last birthday → was with my girlyfriend and had presents and went to the cinema :)
13. What time did you wake up today → im not sure...
14. What were you doing at midnight last night → Playing poker
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for → our one year<3
16. Last time you saw your father→ like two mins ago!
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ That we lived together and werent apart most nights.
18. What are you listening to right now → into the ocean - blue october.... bit obsessed with it!
19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → yeeah
23. What’s getting on your nerves right now? → Rob and Si watching youtube videos loudly >.<
24. Most visited web page → Faacebook!
WHAT:
1. What’s your name → Terri
2. Nicknames→ Terence... ¬_¬
3. Relationship Status → taken ^_^<3
4. Zodiac sign → Libra

5. Male or female → Female
6. Elementary school→ St. Andrews
7. Middle School → Causton
8. High school → Orwell!
10. Hair color → brownyreddyblah
11. Long or short → loooooooooooong
16. Height → 5’6 i think
17. Do you have a crush on someone? → Catherine but shhhhh! she might not know!
18: What do you like about yourself? → my left wrist
19. Piercings → Ears, nose
20. Tattoos → on my left wrist, so far!!!
21. Righty or lefty… Righty
FIRSTS :
22. First surgery → I had gromits if that counts!!!
23. First piercing → Ears when i was like 4 or 5
24. First best friends →Jade in soham and Megan in felixstowe
26. First sport you joined → Rollerhockey
27. First pet → Rambo and Bimbo are old cats
28. First vacation→ abroad was to gran caneria
29. First concert → Enter Shakari
30. First crush → Im not sure
49. Eating → nothing?
50. Drinking → Nothing
52. I’m about to → Sleep!
53. Listening to → Robyn and Simon D= AND ITS DISTURBING!
55. Waiting for –> it to be time to see my girly
YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? → i do atm
59. Want to get married? → we are getting married :)
60. Careers in mind? → something to do with reading, writing or english
YOUR PERFECT MATE
68. Lips or eyes → both! catherine has brown flecks in her eyes and they are beautiful :)
69. Hugs or kisses → BOTH!! they go together :) especially snuggly hugs with kisses!
70. Shorter or taller → a bit shorter
71. Older or Younger → younger
72. Romantic or spontaneous → Both
73. Nice stomach or nice arms → catherine has both and very very nice legs ;)
74. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive
75. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
77. Trouble maker or hesitant → Hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger → Nope
79. Drank hard liquor → yeah
80. Lost glasses/​contacts → Im always loosing my glasses!
81. Sex on first date → Nope
82. Broken someone’s heart → dont think so
83. Had your own heart broken→ maybe
85. Been arrested → Nope
86. Turned someone down → Yes
87. Cried when someone died → Yeah


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → i dont
90. Miracles → not really
92. Hell → a bit
93. Santa Clause –> yes!
95. Kiss on the first date? → yep
96. Angels → Kinda.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? →with catherine so she'll make everything better
98. Had more than one boyfriend/​girlfriend at one time? No.
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? →no titles allowed!!!!!

i feel wrong.

im supposed to be happy, but im not.

ive started panicing all the time.

im scared im loosing or lost everyone; Catherine, Megan...

theyre really my only friends.

i dont talk to anyone else really.

i didnt expect to loose all my other friends.

but i understand why they wouldnt wanna be near me.

i hate being near me and im stuck here.

i want everything to e better and good again.

i want to be happy all the time

i want to help everyone

i need to be better, to feel like im worth something but i dont.

theres always someone better than me.

just want to be someone people can be proud of.

that theyd like to know and spend time with.

not someone who hates going out

and cant get dressed without crying

or always wanting to hurt myself.

shouldnt even write it here.

shouldnt make other people read that im ovghaobndo

ill be fine though, always am.

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm fallin' in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down
Let the rain come down

i just want to hide away somewhere from everything

then everything will have to stay the same

i wont be there to ruin it

just want a pair of trousers of leggins that fit and arent ruined that dont make me cry everytime i put them on

got a really bad headache >.<

we started running again today.

even though its hard it made me feel alot better =]

i cant wait for next week,

get to spend the whole week with catherine ^_^

got my results :D

got BBD =]

rather proud of my B in sociology =]

and i thought id do worse than a D in psychology

but im gunna retake.

and im starting revision now! so ill be a psych master by exam time!!

hopefully ill get it up to a B or a C :)

dog sitting again this weekend with my girly =]

just the two of us :D...and yogi!

its gunna be good =]

allsoo!!! were going to the pub for a meal with catherines parents tonight =]

get my results today, dont want to have done bad

and have to tell everyone my crap results :(

failed my interview >.<

really wanted the job aswell.

it was exactly what iwanted for around college >.<

its not fair.

i hate that i suck at everything

gaaaaah >.<

interview today.

i really dont think its going to go well.

i look and feel all horrible >.<

they wont want me and theyll be loads better people than me

spent all day clearing up cat sick >.<

need catherine to be here soon =[

put my money in the wrong bank accounts!!

gosh darn it!

buuuut i have another idea for a present for catherine!!

cant wait to wear my harry potter t-shirt thursday

ffound my dailybooth account today!

havent used in over a year! :P

i checked!

interview tomorrow >.< ahhhhhhhhhhh

i had an amazing weekend with my lovely =]

we dog-sat for one of her dads friend while he was away.

he has a chocolate lab called Yogi who is really cute

and VERY slobbery!

but i actually really enjoyed it, taking him for walks and

just generally him being there.

it was really nice to spend the weekend alone with catherine too

its like how it would be if we lived together =]

we cooked a meal and went food shopping!!!!1

it was lovely =]

and were doing it again this weekend too :D

also as catherines parents are gong away, shes staying here for a few nights so i get her even more ^_^ all to myself :D

wednesday is my interview!!!

im really quite nervous, i think its coz i really want it =[

but i reckon i wont get it, theres always someone better at the interview.

and thuuuursday i get my results >.<

not loking forward to getting them at all, think theyd make m bad

but catherine has a half day so were gunna get lunch and go shopping

and she'll make everything better =] she always does.

SHE BROOUGHT ME A HARRY POTTER T-SHIRT!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D

it was six months yesterday since the last time i hurt myself

i do feel more proud than i thought i would,

its coz of catherine though, shes made my life so much better

and i couldnt have done it without her,

that means its half a year!!

woop

gots a job interview ^_^

for the spar shop =]

hopefully ill get it though :D

i feel so useless

i need to make this stop and go

uuurgh forgot to blog :( was doing so well!!!

on friiiday i went to Aldburgh with catherine and her family

we met up with her friend Jeremy and his gf Anna.

ive never meet them before but they seem nice

...though they all have very curly hair...other than the dad :P

but it was nice :)

we sat on the beach and ate fish and chips then went for a walk then to the pub.

on saturday i had work :(

but catherine worked with me so it was all good :D

and it was nice coz i got hugs and kisses all day and work didnt make me down.

sunday i had a day off so i spent the day with my dearest =]

we watched lots of torchwood adn ate lots.

we also did the next stage of our run!

it was hard whilst doing it but i felt better after

and i am looking forward to getting fitter and being able to run more!

and i FINALLY finished my blooming book!!

it took me forever but i rather liked it :)

started reading the Exorcist today :) i really like it.

i only have 100 pages left!!!!

work today was slow and boring as i was on my own but hey ho.

then went and saw my loverly.

and curled up with her for a while =]

makes me happy being in her arms ^_^

me and catherine are dogsitting friday - tuesday :)

im really looking forward to it as it would feel like living on our own =]

cooking and spending our time together =]

cant wait :D

ALSO!!!! some of catherines presents have been dispatched :D

excitement!!!!!

so looking forward to a day off tomorrow =]

aaand get to spend the weekend with my girlyfriend ^_^

and it makes me wanna die

I do not want to work today >.<
i didnt sleep well at all and im going to be working on my own all day again >.<
and its sunny so its going to be really busy >.<
not looking forward to this at all.
i dont wanna get bad again.
ill just keep looking forward to mine and catherines week off ^_^
thatll keep me happy =]

I hate working!!
People don't seem to realise that i dont make the prices up

and i cant jut give them free food.

but they have a go at me for it anyway.

not like im working on my own when we'd usually have three people working or anythng!!

stupid fuckers.

this wont make sense but i dont care!

hgksirisbfg

Also!!

also i got a parcel in the post today adressed to:

Terri Godbold.

thats my future name!!!

anyway! catherine had brought me Misfits =D

lovelovelove

mmmmm ^_^

todays turned out amazing :)
started off really ill and sick, but then my girly friend made everything better =]
just by telling me stories she made me feel so good
and made it so i cant wait until the end of the week!

think i made her good to :D
which is always good!
though curse work and womanlyness getting in the way!!!

i hate that it keeps coming back >.<.
that i cant help it and its alwayss there.

but itll go again hopefully >.<.

its mine and catherines 11 months today ^_^
she makes me so happy and im gunna be with her forever =]
i decided :)
were hopefully getting our tattoos next month :D
its gunna be good :)
i love her so much =]
she means everything to me and im never letting her go, no matter what.

And when the hardest part is over

we'll be here

And our dreams will break the boundries of our fear

we should never be afraid to die

i hate that i have to work today and cant be there for you >.<

should have booked the day off so you could talk to me as soon as you need to =[

get to spend all night with my girl and make her lunch for tomorrow :) mmmmm

suddenly my life doesnt seem such a waste, it all revolves around you €€€€

meeting up with megan and megan today to watch harry potter!!!

look how young they look!!!

catherine

love my beautiful, smart, funny lovely girlfriend ^_^

mmmmm ^_^

got to spend all week at catherines as my nana was round.

so i got to spend everynight with her, which was lovely =]

yesterday was also really good.

we went and met friends for coffee in the morning and cake!!

it was nice to catch up with them, even if it was only for a little bit.

then we went and saw HARRY POTTER!!!!

it was amazing! though sad its the laast one =[

and then chinese!!!

best chinese for ages!

but then it was horrible as i had to leave catherine to come home >.<

but i get to see her today after work =]

and then hopefully we'll move in together soon =] well as soon as we can afford it =[

hopefully not so long

hair

i miss my hair when it was length :( this is also the first picture ive ever uploaded!!!!

its okay not to be okay

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
Who you are

I never blog anymore )=

i never seem to blog anymore =[

this makes me sad. and the one time i did go to recently my post got cancelled >.<

so since i last blogged my family had a party, which was quite good indeed =]

there were loads of people there, mainly from mums work adn from thier bike club though. but it was a good night.

i even wore a dress!!!

this week my nana has been round, but i havent seen much of her as catherine wouldnt be allowed round if nana is here >.<.

so ive been staying at catherines instead, which has been lovely. though it was odd waking uo for her to go to work and staying in her bed without her =[ but i liked being there all the time instead of just the evenings.

though i feel sorry for her parents, as they arnt really comfortable with me staying there but theyve let me, which was nice =]

i dont really get to see Megan anymore =[ though we did spend a nice day together shopping in ipswich before the party =] that was good. though i do miss her. but she comes sees me at work sometimes too :D.

i quite miss vanessa atm as well, she always used to make me laugh, but i dont see her now =[.

Me, catherine and nicola have decided to do the race for life next year =]

so weve started running three times a week. its not loads aatm but itll got longer as we get better. hopefully this means we'll be able to run the race and not walk it =]

this also means ill hopefully start loosing weight and stop eating so much again. especially since ive put all the weight back on that i lost. so now i feel horrible all the time again >.< i hate my body.

but its going to change, so its all good.

e

sick of ruining everything and making everything bad.

just want to go

.

cant even cope with anything >.<.

B

gunna try and start blogging more again now that ill have internet.

i miss blogging, it makes me feel better.

or at least lets me write stuff down,

which is good i guess

so ill try blog everyday :)

A

im not looking forward to this summer :(

i dont want to work. i hate it.

makes me sad and bad.

but i need the money...

stupid world not giving me money :(

smiiile

and thats why i smile

its been a while

since everyday and everything has

felt this right

and now youre turning it all around

and suddenly youre all i need

the reason why i smile

j

its okay not to be okayy

horrible

im such a horrible person, im supposed to help you and be there for you when you need me but im not anymore.

i just think about myself all the time, i never do anything for you anymore. its no wonder youre going off of me .

i dont blame you.

i wouldnt want to have me as a friend, im not good at anything and i cant be relied on at all. i make everything bad and its all my fault.

ill end up ruining this. and i dont want to.

i cant be without you. ever.

friday

think its about time to give up now.

if only i had a gun...

your presence actually fucks me off.

no-body gives a shit about the crap you have to say.

you're a shit friend, you leave people when they need you the most

especially if there is someone better around.

all you ever do is bitch about your friends behind there back.

thats not what being a friend is.

you proper fucked me off.

.

i just make everything worse,

make people think they've done something wrong

and they havent. just end up hurting people.

seriously considering going or not being here anymore.

itll be better for everyone.

-

Dont think i can take much more

i cant deal with this.

I'll spread my wings and fly

internet has been really shitty lately so havent been able to blog much.

it was mine and catherines six months the other day ^_^

she makes me so so so happy and im glad shes all mine and she's still with me =)

imma make her really happy! its decided =]

other than that its not been so great, college is shit, wendy had a go at me,

and she wouldnt have done if she wasnt already in a bad mood,

but didnt mean she had to take it out on me >_<.

bitch.

dreams are coming back >_<.

they went for awhile but they've come back and theyre getting worse

they make me want to not sleep anymore again.

and not sleeping will make me worse >_<.

started back at work the other week, apart from a minor setback last weekend =P

but means i get money which is good =]

means i can buy catherine stuff and yeh

taking her to the cinema wednesday hopefully =]

anyway got lots to do tonight so i best gooooo.

,

i want to disappear, just to go and not be here

hgfsjf

i want to stop being down all the time and just be happy )=

i dont want to bring others down.

give up

i just want to give up on everything

i dont want to always make everything worse anymore

i cant deal with it

evening

hmmm...need to sleep but thats effort to get up and clear my bed =[.

blaah

its not fair >.<

wish i was pretty and skinny

and nice and someone people

could be proud of and rely on.

lkcbwfgsukg

wallpaper

I'm going to fail at everything.

everyones better than me at everything.

im never going to get a decent job.

ill be stuck somewhere shitty hating every minute.

i just want to be good at something that matters,

something that would get me a good job or make a difference.

i'm going to end up working for David every summer

and i cant deal with it, that place just makes everything worse.

it makes me just want to give up.

ill get really bed, do something stupid and upset everyone.

fuck.

ooooh

want a cigarette so bad right now >.<.

ahh

wont if valentines is shit and i suck and she goes off me coz im boring and stupid >.<
or she gets bored and doesnt want to see me >.< oooh.

Valentines

Its mine and Catherine's first Valentines day today! =D

havent really done much =/

but i hope she likes her card

and the indoor picnic!!

trying to decide on candles or not...

i dont even know if itll be dark enough for candles!!

and what if i set fire to my room! D=

didnt think of this...hmmm

ooooh

This is Home

im so lucky to have my amazing girlfriend, Catherine

And to have an awesome best friend, Megan.

they are both lovely and i'd be lost without them.

if they ever leave me, im just going to stalk them forever and ever =D=D

please

its nothing. it has to be.

shouldnt worry.

itll go away and everything will be fine.

i need everything to be fine.

now

i just want to give up on everything and not care

i just make everything worse and i hate doing it.

i cant seem to make anything better.

cant make myself better.

she's going to leave me and ill loose her and i cant

i wont be without her. no.

yummy

:) nearly five months with my beautiful girlfriend!

she's so amazing and I'm really lucky to have her.

and she's alllll mine ^_^

she makes me really happy, and always knows how to cheer me up

and is always there for me and i love her lots!

hi

keep panicing and crying >.<

this sucks

Panic

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

2011

dont think im as good as i thought =/

its all good when im with catherine she makes me soso happy

but when im alone i get so down and i cant cope with it atm >.<.

i dont want to be bad al the time =[ ill bring catherine down or ill push her away and i cant deal with that =[.