,

i want to disappear, just to go and not be here

hgfsjf

i want to stop being down all the time and just be happy )=

i dont want to bring others down.

give up

i just want to give up on everything

i dont want to always make everything worse anymore

i cant deal with it

evening

hmmm...need to sleep but thats effort to get up and clear my bed =[.

blaah

its not fair >.<

wish i was pretty and skinny

and nice and someone people

could be proud of and rely on.

lkcbwfgsukg

wallpaper

I'm going to fail at everything.

everyones better than me at everything.

im never going to get a decent job.

ill be stuck somewhere shitty hating every minute.

i just want to be good at something that matters,

something that would get me a good job or make a difference.

i'm going to end up working for David every summer

and i cant deal with it, that place just makes everything worse.

it makes me just want to give up.

ill get really bed, do something stupid and upset everyone.

fuck.

ooooh

want a cigarette so bad right now >.<.

ahh

wont if valentines is shit and i suck and she goes off me coz im boring and stupid >.<
or she gets bored and doesnt want to see me >.< oooh.

Valentines

Its mine and Catherine's first Valentines day today! =D

havent really done much =/

but i hope she likes her card

and the indoor picnic!!

trying to decide on candles or not...

i dont even know if itll be dark enough for candles!!

and what if i set fire to my room! D=

didnt think of this...hmmm

ooooh

This is Home

im so lucky to have my amazing girlfriend, Catherine

And to have an awesome best friend, Megan.

they are both lovely and i'd be lost without them.

if they ever leave me, im just going to stalk them forever and ever =D=D

please

its nothing. it has to be.

shouldnt worry.

itll go away and everything will be fine.

i need everything to be fine.

now

i just want to give up on everything and not care

i just make everything worse and i hate doing it.

i cant seem to make anything better.

cant make myself better.

she's going to leave me and ill loose her and i cant

i wont be without her. no.