Giving In

Ive decided it time to stop trying.

i am fed up of the people i know not caring or making an effort anymore, hearing from 'friends' once or twice a year or only when they want something. im fed up of always making the effort. i know im not that important to many people, its just a shame that its the people who were important to me, that dont seem to care anymore.

im not sure how i feel about this, i doubt itll make things worse though, im pretty used to talking to just the one person know, at least she still loves me or i would literally have no-one. it would have been nice to talk to others who i used to be really close with.

oh well, just counting down, three more years and then we'll be gone and forgotten about im sure!
but at least then we'll have a chance to meet new people who will hopefully care.

okay so it does get to me, im just really fed up now. its obviously something ive done or the way i am that make people not want to be associated with me. and yes moving away is really running away, i just dont want to be surrounded by the people who i used to see/talk to all the time.

Blink and you'll miss it!

So 2013 has pretty much gone and so has the year of doing! And as expected I didn't really do anything!

I suppose there was two major changes this year the first one being applying for uni and getting in! I'm now a month away from finishing the first year of my nursing degree and I actually love it. It gives me a sense of purpose and direction, I feel as if I'm finally doing something with my life! I can't wait to be back at uni and on placement! So in that respect the year of doing was successful as I pushed myself to do it instead of just holding off on it! 

The second big thing this year was Catherine finally moving into my house :) we now have our own room together which we redecorated and refurnished and we love it!  I love having Catherine here all the time makes me really happy and safe.

We also went on our first holiday together abroad to Tunisia, it was a nice break and felt good to  get away even though it was scary being in a foreign  country on our own but we did lots of stuff so that was nice. 

So although the year of doing never really got done, I like the idea of giving the year a target word, so I've decided 2014 is going to be the year of health! Both physically and mentally. 

I want to treat my body better by exercising more and eating better food instead of eating crap and being lazy, I also want to try and be less stressed and be calmer so I don't get as annoyed as easily!! 

I'm feeling positive ATM and hope that I can achieve At least some of these goals especially as they will help me in relationships with others as well as at work and university.

So hears to 2014 the year of health! 

2013 - The Year of Doing

 

Every year starts of with a list of resolutions that I never do at all.

This year is going to be different, I've promised myself that!

 

We decided to name 2013 the year of doing, to actually met the resolutions and goals that we set ourselves, not just make a list and go through the year doing nothing about anything...again.

 

so we're doing it, Katt, Chris, Catherine and myself have started our healthy choices and started swimming already! we're also going to be more active in walking and eating better. doing it together has already given us more motivation than doing it by ourselves would have done and it is also a lot more fun!

 

one goal I set was to learn to juggle! i've already made the juggleing beanbags and can't wait until i can do it properly. Not just throw them in the air and flail a little bit!

 

the year of doing is already working its magic! I've decided on my future and have pushed myself to look into it more and apply and hopefully it'll work out! i really hope so!

 

 

this year i am also going to be getting my camera hopefully! then i can join C, Katt and Chris on photography walks! i hope ill be alright at it as i seem to find the really good pictures to take itll just be actually taking them!

 

im so excited for this year! its going to a good one. i can tell!

 

ill redo my layout soon though i think!!



cant believe how much everything has changed in the last month, doesnt look like itll go back to how it was either.

its not fair.

so i've been out of college for nearly a month now and i figured that i would have got a full time job, nothing great just something. but no. noone will hire me and i dont blame them, not qualified or experienced enough for any of these jobs and im just useless. feel disgusting all the time and i just constantly want to cry. i dont do anything anymore, just stay inside and watch films, or jus do nothing, just want to sleep. thought id be able to get a job and start saving so i can move out sooner and be with catherine more. and i dont get to see her as much anymore and i dont like not being with her, makes me really sad but i hate leaving the house now and dont want to go to hers. hate everything right now. hate constantly having headaches. hate having no money. hate the way i look. hate being here.

Biiiike

Forgot how good cycling makes me feel, definately have to start doing it more often again!

I cannot wait to be Mrs Terri Louise Godbold =D
gunna be that happiest person ever and tell catherine i love  her everyday forever :)
still cant believe shes all mine <3<3